Spaceball is an episode of the TV series, Galactica 1980.
Plot
- "The Galactica continues to lead the Cylons away from the planet Earth, but so far, our brother Council member, Xavier, who has turned outlaw, continues to elude us. Two of our most able warriors, Troy and Dillon, remain down on the planet Earth, seeking a place where we can send our young to prevent their destruction, in what we know will be an imminent and final Cylon battle. With each day, it becomes increasingly difficult for our children to live as Earth's children. Being accustomed to a much denser gravity causes them to display super skills that are jeopardizing their ability to blend in down on Earth without detection. Still, they must try. Surely they face imminent destruction out in space."
- —Commander Adam's opening prologue
Cpt. Troy and Lt. Dillon have received unusually vague orders to meet with Galactica personnel at a field to receive orders for an upcoming mission. They are firstly confused by the vagueness of the scrambled transmissions, and left more-so when they find their liaison is Lt. Nash, a Squadron leader who should be flying on Battle Alert. Lt. Nash explains he was ordered to send them a Viper for their upcoming mission to stop Dr. Xavier, who Dr. Zee has determined to have successfully traveled back to the present. The Viper has all the relevant information in its Computron to take the two Warriors to Dr. Xavier. The two leave Lt. Nash behind to look after the children.
Meanwhile, Col. Sydell ends an inflammatory call with his seniors. Though it is his department's job to investigate UFO encounters, the budget allocated to him by the US Air Force has become a political issue over taxes. He is now expected to come up with fast conclusions in investigations without using too much money, which he feels defeats the purpose of the investigations. Still suspicious about the two men (Cpt. Troy and Lt. Dillon) he encountered repeatedly in the past weeks, he considers investigating Jamie Hamilton herself to get to them. Following a conversion with his secretary, Lt. Nancy Trent, he bids her good day as he heads out to investigate Hamilton.
As Hamilton has to go to work, she takes the children with her to the United Broadcasting Co.'s studio, and arranges a tour for them. One of the children, Wellington, reads through a pamphlet on the science of TV cameras and instantly becomes an expert. With no adult supervision, he begins taking apart the camera to teach the other children how it works. A studio employee arrives to lead the tour and is in utter shock to find $80,000 worth of equipment lying on a table and rushes out to notify Mr. Brooks. Hamilton meanwhile joins her meeting late after recall election and immigration stories have been handed out, but jumps at the chance of a human interest story. Mr. Brooks, concerned about her reliability as a company journalist due to her irrelevant stories about terrorism and UFO encounters and disappearances for days, insists she immediately cover the story with cameraman Hal Fredericks, insisting the story about Billy Eheres, an ex-baseball player running a camp for underprivileged children suffering financial worries would be of great interest to readers. As the meeting concludes, the studio employee rushes in to report the dismantled camera. All four arrive on the studio floor to find the camera back together, Wellington having taught the children how to do so after feeling guilt for the employee's shock. The man is in denial at how this could be done, and is adamant the camera being used on Starla is a different camera and they have hidden the dismantled one. When Mr. Brooks shows it is indeed the #4 camera he was talking about, he is forced to admit that he overreacted and his team was probably performing maintenance on the camera just before the tour. Curious as to why Hamilton brought so many children into the studio, she explains they are orphans she met while covering the pollution story; Mr. Brooks suggests she take the children to the camp, as the addition of orphans should drive up interest during the 6 o'clock news and save the camp.
Out in space, Cpt. Troy activates the Computron's navigation program per orders, but this causes the Viper to shut down. He switches back to manual control, which solves the problems. He alerts Galactica to the fault, but Cmdr. Adama shows no knowledge of any mission assigned to he or Dillon, and Lt. Nash is on the bridge. They conclude this was all a ploy by Dr. Xavier, and they are inside his stolen Viper. When the Viper shuts down once more, Cmdr. Adama orders Lt. Nash to send a Squadron out while they still have Oxygen. Cmdr. Adama converses with Dr. Zee in his lab. Though they have no idea as to Dr. Xavier's ultimate goal, it is clear by his interference in Cpt. Troy and Lt. Dillon's primary mission that he seeks to use the children as bargaining chips.
Hamilton, Fredericks and the children arrive at Eheres' camp, Casey's Baseball Park. The children head out to meet the others in the camp, while Hamilton talks with Fredericks about his reasons for starting his his camp. Confused by how a camp for underprivileged children is referred to as a baseball camp on signs, Eheres explains the camp is both. This explains the financial worries of a charity-run sports camp, that funding is based on how successful they are in the regionals. As half the camp's team, the Polecats, are down with the flu, there's no way they can beat the Enciro Cougars tomorrow. Fredericks catches up, and suggests the orphans play baseball for the cameras; the idea is shot down quickly by Hamilton, who explains away that they don't know how to play. The scouts watch the baseball game from afar, and when a ball flies into their direction Starla throws it back 300 ft beyond the children and behind a set of trees. The baseball players fail to notice Starla's throw, and think it is a prank. Fredericks demands to know how a child could have an "arm like Nolan Rylan", which Hamilton explains as her exhibiting a freak mutation. Eheres invites the children to play with his remaining Polecats, unaware of Starla's abilities. Hamilton warns the children not to draw attention to themselves as it will be on camera, which Wellington interprets as them playing their absolute worst.
Still stranded in space, Cpt. Troy estimates 8 hours left of Oxygen, which can be extended if they alternate between sleep. As they have no power to communicate with Galactica, there is no point staying awake. Meanwhile, Col. Sydell arrives at the United Broadcasting building to ask Mr. Brooks questions about Hamilton, the terrorists and the children. Brooks is alarmed by these comments, as he is not the only person to come into his office asking about them. At the camp, Dr. Xavier catches up with Hamilton, and continues to impersonate Lt. Nash, saying he has orders to watch over the children. Hamilton tries to introduce him to Eheres, but he is not in the mood; the camp is bankrupt, and at this point winning the game may not be enough to stop their unsympathetic landowner evicting them before the Cougar game.
Mr. Brooks rings up the camp to warn Hamilton that Col. Sydell is on his way to investigate her; she explains hurriedly that there is more to the children than being orphans, but it is part of a story she is writing. While Mr. Brooks accepts her story, he is concerned about her failure to inform him about it. After the call, Hamilton tries to console Eheres, and has Starla show her true skills to him so that the children can serve as his replacement team.
During the night, Dr. Xavier contacts the Galactica and gets through to Cmdr. Adama's quarters. He reveals the nature of his plan, that he is holding Cpt. Troy, Lt. Dillon and the children hostage, and will release them on the sole condition he be allowed to live on Earth without fear of capture by Galactica's Warriors. Cmdr. Adama cannot accept to such terms without conversing with Dr. Zee, and he is given ten hours to answer. In the dead Viper, Cpt. Troy wakes up seven hours after the Viper stopped working, and though they have gained time as a result it isn't enough. Losing patience, he tries to force the Viper to start working again.
In the morning, the Polecats disembark by bus to the Cougars' playing field. It is the final game in the Southern Conference Regional Playoffs, with the Cougars and Polecats being their Southeastern and Southwestern champions, respectively. Hamilton becomes alarmed at the number of reporters at the match, not expecting it to be so interesting to other journalists, and goes into the locker room to talk to the children. She is interrupted by Col. Sydell, who wants to have Hamilton and the children interrogated. He is interrupted himself by Eheres as the match is about to start, so Col. Sydell postpones the questioning until after the match. Hamilton approaches the children on the benches and tells them they have to lose again to avoid getting Col. Sydell's attention. Eheres is unaware of the plan, and calls out Wellington as the first batter with Moonstone out second. Wellington deliberately misses three balls and is out. As the game goes on, the Cougars demonstrate their talent, with batter Fankie hitting a home run. Irritated with the Polecats' failings, Eheres turns back to Hamilton; he knows they are deliberately playing bad, and becomes more-so when Hamilton snaps at him for asking. Another Cougar bats, and the children deliberately drop the ball and then fail to out him, allowing another home run. Eheres finally loses faith in the match, concluding the children were all part of some stunt to replace his team with one guaranteed to fail, and he leaves knowing his charity is ruined. The children themselves become upset at the heckling from the Cougars, while Col. Sydell watches with confusion, having expected the children to do unusually well.
Back on Viper, Cpt. Troy has given up on repairing the ship from the inside and has noticed the air is becoming stuffy. They resort to taking their helmets off to feel more comfortable. Putting their helmets back on later, they attempt to repair the Viper externally despite lacking the necessary tools. Nonetheless they are successful and take off back to Earth to save the children.
Cmdr. Adama gets back in contact with Dr. Xavier at the end of the sixth inning of the baseball game out of nine, with the Cougers leading by six. Cmdr. Adama refuses his demands, knowing what will happen to the hostages, but stands true to his belief that giving him reprieve will only give him reason to do more harm knowing he can escape justice. Hamilton overhears the conversation and realises what he will do. Dr. Xavier tries to save face and tells her to lead the children to a nearby bus to keep them away from cameras. When Hamilton shows she knows his plan, he simply accepts this, believing she can do nothing to stop him either way. At the start of the seventh inning, Hamilton has a change of heart and tells the children to win, realising they will be swarmed by the press and be safe from Dr. Xavier.
As the seventh inning starts, the Polecats make their comeback. The first batter hits the ball so hard it buries into the ground, allowing a home run while the Cougars dig for it. The second hit is quickly caught, but the batter reaches base faster than even the commentator thought possible. Eheres regains confidence in the team and calls for a slugger, a batter who can reach at least second base. Hamilton recommends Wellington despite his initial failings. Wellington does the math, planning to hit it at an angle of 43.6% at 10m per second. He succeeds in sending the ball far out of the park, scoring a home run. The children continue their streak, quickly equalising at 6-6 and even outmatching the Cougars at 8–9. A Cougar batter is outed by a throw that is not only caught immediately, but also breaks his bat. Another Cougar is outed just inches from a home run, making the Polecats the winners. Dr. Xavier realises the can no longer take the children, and instead takes Hamilton inside as hostage. Col. Sydell follows and is introduced to Dr. Xavier, who raises a gun at Col. Sydell when he refuses to leave. Cpt. Troy and Lt. Dillon arrive before he can kill the officer. As the Warriors chase Dr. Xavier into the Cougars' gym, Col. Sydell follows and is shot. Dr. Xavier successfully escapes as they treat him.
With the children safe for now, Cpt. Troy and Lt. Dillon take the children away from the sporting centre as Hamilton notices the children picking up a loose basketball. Starla throws it back to the players, accidentally scoring yet again.
Production
Cast
Main Cast
- Kent McCord as Captain Troy (Boxey)
- Barry Van Dyke as Lieutenant Dillon
- Robyn Douglass as Jamie Hamilton
- Lorne Greene as Commander Adama
Also Starring
- James Patrick Stuart as Doctor Zee
- Allan Miller as Colonel Jack Sydell
Guest Stars
- Paul Koslo as Billy Eheres
- Bert Rosario as Hal
- Fred Holliday as Mr. Brooks
Special Guest Star
The Super Scouts Alphabetically
Sources
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